


Unspoken words

by Ana Dragneel (Ana_dragneel_chan)



Series: FT thematic weeks [4]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Dragneel Brothers week 2016, Gen, Zeref has an (obvious) soft spot for his younger brother, and let him talk later, because he knows Natsu would punch him first, rambling while writing, telling stuff through letters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:14:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24669712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ana_dragneel_chan/pseuds/Ana%20Dragneel
Summary: Because those were words that Zeref long wanted to tell his brother, but didn't have the courage to do it in person.And through letters, he found his solution.[Dragneel Brothers week 2016]
Relationships: Natsu Dragneel & Zeref Dragneel
Series: FT thematic weeks [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/454798
Comments: 2
Kudos: 79





	1. Birth

**Author's Note:**

> It arrived! The Dragneel Brothers week.
> 
> This will be a story in 8 parts (all the days including the bonus) in a different format. It’s a story told in letters.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!

Since Zeref had last returned to Alvarez, he seemed to be lost in his thoughts. He would spend hours and hours by himself in a room, surrounded by papers.

The black mage was, in fact, preparing something for the last fight. There was a person who deserved answers. Answers that Zeref had, but that lacked the courage to give to his brother in person.

That was the reason he was locked in that room. He wanted no interruptions. And that was how a special patch of letters came to be. Letters between two brothers, the emperor and the dragon slayer. Letters full of words that Zeref longed to say.

_To my dearest Natsu,_

_From Zeref._

_These words tell a side of the story I longed to tell, but I didn’t have the courage to do so. You may find it weird that I’m sharing this with you, but you deserve to know. This has to do with your past as well._

_You may complain that I’m not “dear” to you, but I really care about you. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have gone as far as I did…_

_I should start this story by the very beginning, how two brothers came to be._

_It all started around 400 years ago (a bad thing about been immortal is that you lose track of time way too easily), in a time dragons were still around toying with humans. There was a boy who loved and his family. That time was harsh, yet, that small family, the father, the mother and the boy who looked so much like his mother managed to find happiness._

_And great news soon came to them. Their family would grow. The father was really happy that he would get another child and the boy was excited about getting a younger sibling._

_He would often be around his mother, taking care of her and his younger sibling. The boy promised that he would protect the younger one, as he was the older brother._

_I can still remember the day you were born, Natsu. It was the first day of summer. Mother was tired, but with a smile in her face. Father was crying tears of joy, for at least his second son took after him. I was amazed, I wanted to hold you, but I had no idea how. Mother told me how to do it and encouraged me. I’m glad she did._

_It didn’t take long for the news to spread. Our family was well known in the small town we lived in and some people came to visit._

_That day was the beginning, but there’s so much more I want, no, need to tell you brother. For this is a long tale and I hope you don’t get bored by my words._


	2. Family

Sometimes Zeref wondered if it wasn’t a waste of time writing these letters. How could he know if they would ever reach Natsu?

But he sure found them relaxing, like taking a weight off his shoulders. And so, he kept writing those letters.

_To the younger Dragneel,_

_From his older brother._

_I know that you might be confused and that’s okay. And before you ask (because I know you will), I’m your older brother. My name is Zeref Dragneel (and no, the fire dragon king didn’t take that last name out of nowhere!)._

_I think you might want to know more about our family, maybe I could tell you about what you don’t remember…_

_Mother was a sweet woman that usually put others needs before her own. I remember how she was always wearing her raven hair in a side ponytail and how her light green eyes would shine when we brought her a small gift. But she could be really scary if necessary, like when we tried to snack on something before lunch or dinner._

_Father was the carefree type, that loved to joke around and make everybody laugh. He would spend long periods of time playing with us when he was at home. His hair color was much like yours, Natsu (although it was darker and didn’t look pink) and Mother used to say that we had inherited his black eyes._

_Father was a well known mage, because he used to fight dragons that tried to wreck havoc where they were not called. And before you ask, he was a Dragon Slayer like you (maybe it runs in the family?). Mother didn’t have magic, but she sure knew how to patch someone up. I remember Father telling me he fell for Mother because she was always patching him up after he recklessly fought dragons. And when he decided to play with magic inside the house… Mother was always telling Father he would end up burning the house by accident._

_I sure miss the times when everything was simple… Times when we could be a happy family._


	3. Fall

Zeref sighted. It finally came to that point of the story. Relieving those memories hurt a lot, but he had to. Just this one more time, as his brother deserved to know everything.

_To my little brother,_

_From Zeref-nii._

_The memories of the facts in this letter are not my favorite ones. In fact, they bring me such pain that sometimes I wish I had forgotten them. But you deserve to know everything, including how things went wrong for our family._

_The dragon war continued to destroy many lands, it was common for villages and small towns to be raided by dragons that didn’t care about humans and just saw them as food. The great distances made it more difficult for people to get help. If they got notice of a Dragon Slayer that was near, they would request him or her to slay the attacking dragons._

_The place where we lived used to be territory of fire dragons. Some low-rank dragons hated humans, others found them bearable. The fire dragon king hadn’t picked a side and that split up the fire dragons._

_Worried about the humans getting dragged into the war, some of the dragons in the pro-human side, picked some humans in the fire dragons’ territory to receive Dragon Slayer magic to protect the others. Father was one of them._

_I still remember that day. Father had gone to help a village and we hadn’t heard notice of him since he left home. Mother was worried, but she tried to hide it because she didn’t want us to have negative thoughts._

_I could never have imagined that the day Father left to help somewhere else would be the last day I would see him alive. When one of the men from the attacked village gave Mother the notice that Father was dead, she had a breakdown._

_You were too young to understand what was happening, but losing Father was just the trigger to even worse losses. It didn’t take long for Mother to die of sadness after our father’s death. They loved each other way too much to be able to live without their other half._

_When I think about it, why Mother couldn’t be stronger for us? If she had, maybe, just maybe, things wouldn’t have turned out as messed up as they had._

_After we lost Mother, things changed. The way people treated us changed. That look of pity… The whispers of “poor parentless boys”… Those things hurt way more than losing our parents!_

_And the day the small town we lived was attacked by human hating dragons, I lost the only precious thing I had left. People had started running when they first saw the dragons coming. Way too many people for small children to keep up with. We tried to run, but we fell behind. The dragons kept chasing us, ready to kill any human in their way._

_I remember seeing you falling and trying to get back so that we could escape together, but the townsfolk held me and didn’t let me go near you. We were desperate and one nasty dragon got closer and closer. I… I don’t remember very well how things went, but I can still hear screams and see all the blood spilled there._

_Later a Slayer came and got rid of the dragons, but for me it was already too late. I had already lost my precious little brother._


	4. Serenity

Zeref let the tears fall after he finished that part of the story. Such a sad tale, full of hurt, death and no hope of better days.

Maybe that was one reason he ended up turning into such a bitter person. After 400 years seeing people making the same mistakes, he couldn’t help feeling disgusted by those foolish actions.

But deep down, he once had been as foolish as or maybe even more foolish than the humans he kept observing.

He knew he shouldn’t, but Zeref felt he needed to. Giving in to an old wish couldn’t be that bad. And so, he wrote, this time showing one of his deepest desires.

_To the Salamander,_

_From the Black Wizard._

_For once, I’m not writing this letter to tell the story. I just felt the need to write. Sometimes I wonder how things could have turned up if they weren’t as messed up as they are now._

_Could we have had a normal life like normal siblings usually do? Maybe I could have even become a member of that guild of yours. Can you imagine that, Natsu?_

_I would finally be able to spend time with Mavis, without worrying. And I’m quite sure you would be eager to show me everything that makes up your world. Your friends, the missions you take, everything (including that girl who is your partner, I suspect she’s more than only “partner” to you)._

_Is it really wrong to dream of better days and wait for them? I don’t know. Sometimes it feels like it is a sin for me, but maybe not to you…_


	5. Sacrifice

It was time to continue the story from where he left it. Zeref took a deep breath and focused on what he had to do.

_To the strongest Etherious,_

_From the one who brought him back._

_I have lost count of how many things I have sacrificed until now. Maybe the price was too high, maybe not. It’s up to you to decide that._

_Losing you in such a cruel way was way too much for me. I had nightmares for weeks non-stop thanks to the gruesome scene played in front of my eyes._

_It was unfair. Why I was the only one left? I kept walking, but with no destination until I became a student at Mildian Magic Academy._

_I started to research life and death, making people astonished at my research. They called me a genius, but I was, in fact, just a fool who didn’t know what he was messing with. And I ended up cursed by the life and death god because I dared to step foot somewhere humans don’t belong._

_Killing people because of the curse and also becoming immortal. Those were the first prices I paid. I couldn’t die and kept researching for a long time. I created demons to end me, but they were failed instruments._

_Until… Until I reached my life goal. I was finally able to bring you back. I’m sorry for turning you into an Etherious, but it was the only way. I’m sorry for being so weak and selfish that I couldn’t handle losing you. I’m sorry, brother._

_At the time I didn’t know how much you would be hurt by my actions. I turned you into an Etherious and somehow along the way, in a killing machine._

_My innocent brother turned into a monster. What I had done?! Even Acnologia got afraid after seeing you rampage once. I’m ashamed of my actions, but I couldn’t keep it up anymore. I decided to do what was better for the world and for you._

_I sealed your Etherious part and some of your memories in a book, in what you would come to know as the book of E.N.D. (E.N.D. actually stands for Etherious Natsu Dragneel, but I don’t think you realized it…) and took you, now as a human boy, to the fire dragon king, your foster father Igneel._

_That was the most painful sacrifice I had to do. Igneel promised me he would take care of you and he really did. For that I’m grateful, as he raised you to become an amazing man. If Father could see you now, I’m sure he would be proud of you, Natsu. But I don’t think he would be even proud of me, after everything I’ve done wrong…_


	6. Curse

Zeref could feel his thoughts contradicting themselves. The curse kept eating away at his sanity, or at least, what was left of it after all those years. He should use the little time he had left to warn Natsu, and maybe, just maybe, show him that not everything that happened was his will.

And the final letter came to be.

_To the fire dragon slayer,_

_From emperor Spriggan._

_Please don’t find this weird, but this may be the last letter I will be able to write. I only hope I can hold to my sanity until I finish it._

_The only missing topic right now is my curse. Ankhseram’s contradiction curse. Mavis should have told you (and your guildmates) about it. The more one loves, more lives are taken by that one._

_Sorry to say this, but killing unwillingly is just the first stage. Things just got worse and worse as time passed. I got a second personality over the years, a side who yearned for destruction and wanted to wipe out all the humans (does that sound familiar? I think it does). And yes, this “rejected” side is the one who decided to launch an attack on Ishgar, not the nice, real side of me._

_And then, my thoughts became contradictions. I don’t even know what I want anymore! Do I want to die? Or to kill? To see you or to destroy you?_

_But see, my split personality is the main problem. In fact, I hate killing and violence. The original Zeref is a beautiful cinnamon roll who wouldn’t harm a fly._

_Please brother, there isn’t much time before my sanity completely vanishes. I beg you, stop me before it does and the “rejected” side becomes the one in control._

_I know your hands will be stained after it, but the world will be protected. And also, I will finally be able to rest._


	7. Immortality

Zeref finished that last letter and put it together with the others. He looked at the worn out cover of the book of E.N.D. and decided to let it be. He chose a box and put the book there, along with the letters and closed it. On the last minute, he decided to leave a last note with some instructions for his brother. They could prove to be useful in the future.

And with his memento ready, Zeref Dragneel walked out of his studio. It was time for war.

* * *

The war between Alvarez and Ishgar was everything you would expect of a war. Bloodshed, loss, pain…

The two brothers faced each other and the black wizard fell. Fell by the hands of the one he once loved so much that he defied the laws of life and death to see him again.

And now, after all the trouble and bad things that came with the war, Natsu found himself holding a closed box, a box that was a memento from Zeref. And even more disturbing was the fact that it was addressed to him.

He was at his house (not home, because home is Lucy’s apartment) and finally took a look at the box contents. The words in the letters were too much for him to take at once. And thus, he broke down in a way he had never done before.

* * *

“Lucy!!!”

Lucy didn’t even have the time to react to the blue blur that flew right into her chest. Happy was desperate, she could see it, but why? It didn’t take long for her to get an answer.

“Lucy, there’s something wrong with Natsu! He just broke down out of the blue! I don’t know what to do!”

This got the celestial mage even more worried about her partner. She grabbed her keys and rushed to the dragon slayer’s house, with worry evident in her face.

She couldn’t believe it when she saw her partner. Natsu was trembling while tears fell down his face. Happy was a loss of words.

There was nothing Lucy could really do, so she approached her partner and hugged him from behind. It didn’t take long for Natsu to hold her hands in a more comfortable way. Little by little, he began to calm down.

Lucy finally found the courage to speak.

“Natsu, what happened?”

“Just… Just look around Lucy.”

Lucy could see papers thrown around them, just now she recognized them as letters. But seeing they were sent by Zeref himself, that was a great surprise.

“You didn’t expect those papers to be letters from Zeref, did you? Neither did I. After reading every single one of them, I don’t think he was an evil guy.”

An absolute silence filled the room, until Natsu spoke again, breaking it.

“Lucy, what do you think about immortality?”

Lucy was taken aback by Natsu’s sudden question. She took her time before finally giving an answer.

“I think it might not be a nice thing. Seeing all your loved ones dying and being the only who can’t, that sounds terrible. I guess an immortal would be a bitter person from the losses, but deep down he or she would be lonely.”

“Lonely uh,” Natsu started, now in deep thought. “Maybe that was how Zeref felt. 400 years is a long time for someone to be alone. Too bad he will be forever remembered as one of the worst people in history…”

“But you know Natsu, been remembered even after your death is a kind of immortality. The only difference is that this one isn’t painful most of the times.”

“Lucy, will you help me?”

“Help with what exactly?”

“I don’t want my brother, if he really is, I’m unsure if I should trust what is written here, to be the most hated person in history. I want people to see he wasn’t evil, it was all that curse’s fault! But I’m not good with words, you know that.”

“So… You want me to write this for you?”

“Well, you said you wanted to be a writer and you are pretty good with words… Yeah, I’m entrusting these letters to you so that you can write the story. So…”

“No need to say anything more. We’re together in this.”

And they started that crazy project, searching for a type of immortality that wouldn’t bring sorrow with it. And in a dusty corner of the small house, a box was forgotten. A simple box, with nothing more than a note and a well-known book inside of it.


	8. Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter and we're done!  
> I hope you guys enjoy it!

That was a sight many people thought impossible. Fairy Tail’s resident troublemaker, the pink haired dragon slayer, was quiet. In fact, not only quiet, but also writing something in secret. Only two people had an idea of what was the content: Happy, because he was always with Natsu, and Lucy, because she was the closest person and also the only one who Natsu ever dared to open up with.

The once bandaged arm now had some black marks over it, but Natsu didn’t seem to care. A worn out book could be seen next to the stack of papers on the desk, it was open, with a few pages turned.

The dragon slayer didn’t know why he was writing. Maybe he got one of Lucy’s weird habits. It didn’t matter though. He just felt the need to do it.

_To Zeref Dragneel,_

_From Natsu Dragneel._

_I don’t even know why I’m writing this, Lucy says that rambling by writing is a good way to feel better so I’m doing it._

_First thing I wanted to say is: you really suck as an older brother Zeref. Like what kind of older brother tells his younger sibling to kill him?! You’re lucky to be dead or else I would be kicking your sorry ass right now!_

_By the way, I told the first you still loved her. But you should know that already. I bet you’re spending some quality time with her right now (if not, you might need some lessons on how to treat a girl)._

_Now about the note. I found it and opened the book. Meaning I got my memories and Etherious power back. It was weird the rush of those lost memories back into my mind, proving the letters’ contents true and it hurt a lot. It didn’t help that I turned into my Etherious form when this happened and almost went berserk. And also ice princess tried to kill me, but Happy knocked him out before he could._

_In the end, Lucy convinced everybody I was not dangerous (she actually told them I was not more dangerous than before) and somehow I confessed my feelings. You nailed it when you said she was more than “partner” for me… We’re dating now which is more than you will ever achieve in a relationship._

_You regretted turning me into a demon, but it’s not that bad. Except for the appearance part. That really sucks, having horns and black marks all over the body. (Lucy said she liked them, so I’m letting this pass). But thanks for giving me a second chance. I’m grateful only for that, everything else you did proves my first point._

_P.S.: You’re not a beautiful cinnamon roll. Stop thinking so highly of yourself. And I’m not calling you nii-san. You’re too old for that._

Natsu finished his angry rant and relaxed for a bit. With so many things that happened in such a short time, he finally felt lighter. Writing did help, now he felt like his usual self again. With his usual grin, he walked out of his room. It was time to go back to his regular activities.

“Yosh! I’m all fired up!”


End file.
